OK, I have been saying pay attention to your lovers actions, words, anything and everything down to the way she’s breathing. I know all the experts say communication is the key to great relationship. And there right…. you do need to talk to one another. But there are situations where no matter how much taking you do, it’s going to be frustrating. Example, have you ever asked where she wants to go eat. Even after she called you twice ore more at work to confirm the time you would be home. The #1 answer she will give is ” I don’t know, what do you feel like.” So in this dilemma, I do a process of elimination. You remind her of places she didn’t really care for and then you bring up a few good experiences she had. If she liked the food, nice atmosphere,… friendly staff is as big one and so one. And you will always figure it out, but by you paying attention you will remember and remind her of places she did or did not like. Now if you didn’t pay attention, and had no idea. Then all that talking would eventually turn to yelling. It’s a good idea to have those memories, for situations like this one. But if your head is buried in your phone you won’t catch things like, the eye roll of the waitress or light shiny in her eyes. Just be there in the moment and its easy. And she will be impressed by you, seeing things and remembering them. Then this night won’t turn out to be one you don’t want to remember. I’m not saying men are smarter, or women are always emotional. Oh god, I know that’s not the case. I’m saying keep a level head, because…us as men are upset and or irritated when things like work are on our minds. And we tend to make things a big deal, when they are not. And a woman gets emotional when there are upset, happy, frightened.. And when they react, us as men need not acknowledge the situation. But remember and stored the information away. Not to get over on her or one up her. It’s quite the opposite, its to know her likes, dislikes and her deepest fears. When we talk to our significant other, we don’t always put everything out there. Other example: if you love this pizza place down the road, hot cheesy, greasy goodness. You like it there and our woman will go and enjoy it with us. but if she’s getting upset stomachs, and in bath room after you guys eat there. If in this scenario you’re not paying attention, then you wouldn’t know that it’s giving her stomach issues. They are probably minor..But that not the issue. The issue is she knows you love it, and so she goes there for you. Oh she could be enjoying it also because its delicious. That’s just an example of things that don’t get communicated, especially early in the relationship. So I wouldn’t want to cause a woman and discomfort, no matter how little it may be. So I would run by there for a slice alone when I’m out running errands. But would not subject that her to that any further. And if she brings it up as a suggestion, I’d remind her that you noticed she didn’t like ” it was so greasy last time”. Then she’ll have an opportunity to not go there anymore. But you paid attention and she will be grateful for that. I would feel good knowing that she was accompanying me, because she loves me. And I gave her an out from going there, because I love her. OK till next time, just enjoy each other and pay attention to her, not because you have to because you want to.
Keep those cell phones put away when its date night or quality time. Nothing is more important, then being there in the moment, not in cyberspace.
By Gary A